I had such a great response from so many of you regarding my Kife Loach dilemma, I wanted to personally thank you… each and every one of you… for taking the time to put in your two cents… which added up to something like… a lot.
The following is a list of your thoughtful suggestions as to what I could call myself instead of… dare I say it….
Wow, no matter how I say it, it still sounds so cheesy.
And yet…
You can never have too much life coaching. Or cheese for that matter.
writerwoman61 suggests I try calling myself a M.O.M. which she says stands for Maximum Output Manager. Except I’m having trouble with the words ‘Maximum’ and ’Output’.
Business Coach Laurie Foley doesn’t feel I should limit myself to any sort of label. Instead she suggests I introduce myself in the following manner: “Hi, I’m Lin. I draw and write a wildly popular blog called The Worst Mother and I help other mothers stop torturing themselves in pursuit of unattainable perfection with humor and other secret methods that are shockingly effective in a very short time.”
Hmmmm…. I like it, Laurie. Direct and honest while camouflaging my modesty. And I can always shorten it to: ” Hi, I’m a LIDAWAWPBCTWMAIHOMSTTIPOUPWHAOSMTASEIAVST Coach.” Still love that talk-texting thing I invented. So crisp and efficient.
From Sonia I got Sexy Mind Freer. Welllllll, gee, I suppose I am all that. You got me there, Sonia.
Katie had a few ideas: Existence Enhancer; Happiness Improver; Path Clearer; Love Giver. Yes. Yes! YES. I am all of those too, in a sexy, mind-freeing sort of way.
Linda suggested Empathic Genius. I like it. After all, I do consider myself a genius. And a very empathic one at that. Two birds + One stone = Nice Word Play.
1972roses came up with Dutch Uncle, among other things. Huh? Look at my hair…. Do I look like I’m from Holland? (don’t worry, I get it–I’m just messin’ with ya’ Roses)
Julie, who actually commented twice (offering up some wonderful marketing insight), for a total of four cents of input, suggests that I first establish my niche. Julie, see below.
Laurie Hawley says she is still not sure what to call herself, but until she figures it out she’s sticking with Life, Meaning and Creativity Coach. It definitely helps that Laurie stuck three extra words in between Life and Coach. It helps to soften the cheesy blow. Maybe I could be a Life, Lip-gloss and Chocolate Coach. Now there’s a niche that is untapped! Julie, whaddaya think?
Jane, bless her heart, had quite a few interesting suggestions: Psychic Tree Barker; Mental Mule Skinner; Noodge for Hire (noodge?); You-Thought-Your-Mother-Was-Bad Coach; Because-Martha-Said-So Coach; and my favorite: Reiki Schmeiki – Get Your Ass in Gear Coaching Services. I really like that last one, Jane. Too many people have asses that are not in the proper gear.
Judi with an ‘i‘ says she likes the sound of Existence Guru. Wow! I agree. That definitely has a lot more zing than Knife Poach.
Max Daniels, also a Kife Loach, is in the same boat as I. Poor Max. Same with Sandra, a Virtual Assistant. Who invented that name, she asks? Perhaps Sandra should consider Psychic Tree Barker.
For the record, John, this blog’s token (and cherished) male reader (every blog needs one), doesn’t think I need a title. He thinks it’s enough that I simply call myself The Worst Mother.
Did someone just complete me?
Or…
Is it getting warm in here?
And finally, several of you dear readers thought I should just tell it like it is. Mynakedbokkie and Deb Droz (a wonderful Life Coach) and Naomi Estment (an amazing photographer) all thought that I should just go ahead and call myself a, you know, a thingamabob, whatchamacallit…
Which brings me to my next point…
Because so many of you have asked for it (okay, I admit that this is a slight exaggeration, but one day soon it will not be!) I have opened a new school where I can showcase my superb life coaching abilities (I refer you back to what Laurie Foley said, above. Listen to Laurie–she knows EVERYTHING!)
I promise; You will love this. You will never be the same. Friends and relatives will ask you “What happened, you seem soooo (insert a word from the list that follows).
self-assured content grounded confident energized serene
Click here for more info on the school that will change your life and make all your dreams come true.
This is not hyperbole (well, maybe just a little… I’m still camouflaging my modesty in order to make a point–that you CAN change your life in a pretty big way if you get a Life Coach…like me! (or any of the women I mentioned above who are Life Coaches… they are all terrific).
And please leave a comment, especially if you know of a good lip-gloss to go with every shade of green.
You gotta know by now how much I LOVE COMMENTS… and lip-gloss!
(Now…. go sign up here or I will have to kill you because you know too much!)
January 7th, 2011 at 8:16 am
Lin,
I stumbled across your blog a couple of months ago and love it. You are hilarious! I can totally relate to all the craziness as I have three kids of my own. Congratulations on your coaching practice. Keep up the great posts!
Deborah Boland
( from CFTO days!)
January 7th, 2011 at 10:02 am
Hey Deborah…
wow… thanks for stopping by–so nice to hear from you! I’m sure you can relate to it all with three kids of your own…. hope to see you here again.
L
January 7th, 2011 at 8:26 am
I hate cheese.
January 7th, 2011 at 8:48 am
You’ve tackled the tough issues Lin! Who ever came up with the term “Life Coach” anyway? I love your blog–you crack me up. What’s life without laughter?—dull and dreary.
January 7th, 2011 at 9:15 am
Hi Lin, thanks so much for this follow up post! In all seriousness, after my corporate life as a CPA I was struggling to say I am Kife Loach, so this doesn’t just make me laugh but also happy, to see that others feel the same about the cheesy title. However, I have to say, with time I have grown prouder to say it. So, in the meantime, I think I’ll choose one of Katie’s suggestions: Existence Enhancer; Happiness Improver; Path Clearer. Path Clearer I probably like best. Many thanks for all your awesome posts. I am not even a mother yet and they already make me laugh out loud – you are indeed a genius (so fit that into your new title!) Much love, Jana xx
January 7th, 2011 at 10:04 am
Hey Kim and Jana…
thanks for your kind words… love to connect with like-minded laughter-seekers!
January 7th, 2011 at 9:26 am
Personally, I have a bit of a problem not with the name of the thing, but with the concept itself (but then again, I haven’t been touched by Martha’s blessed words yet
) . I mean, I thought what you were doing here was already a way of helping people of sorts, a way of putting s**t (just in case that’s not allowed on your blog 
) in perspective TOGETHER with us. I mean, you’ve lived this, I’ve lived that, she’s been there, he’s heard something about it (sorry John), but we’re all clearing our own paths (loved that one by the way) and finding the ways to get serene, self-confident and whatnot. The concept of a life coach (and yes, cheese dripping all over 
) ) seems to me to claim that you, or any other of you guys (and seriously, i mean no offence by this, i’ll read this blog after today with just as much pleasure, unless I get banned – can you do that??? 
), is that you HAVE FOUND the ONE AND ONLY solution. And that I should pay you/read you/worship you because you seem to be less confused about all your choices in life than I am. And here I get downright proletarian in discourse 
: I don’t believe that that’s the case. I can find myself in your descriptions and your adorable paint pictures and your struggle, but I’m finding my solutions as I go along and I’m enjoying that. And I also would never dream of `coaching` someone else with my solutions. This might be a cultural difference, I admit (although your Bulgarian grandma should have something to say in all this 
). But… kife loach? Seriously?
January 7th, 2011 at 10:26 am
Hey Jiminy…
I hear ya…. it is important to me that I keep my blog and my business separate, but when the two collide (this has actually been a real issue for me) I can’t hold it in. So, I throw it out there.
In defense of the coaching thing– NO ONE has found the one and only solution– that’s the tricky part… and no good coach would ever make that claim. But they might be able to get you to your own ‘solution’. Sometimes it’s not even about finding solutions… sometimes it’s just about finding your way. While I do not purport to have all the answers, a well-trained coach (and believe me, there is study and training involved in this) has a lot to offer a person who is open to it…. it’s not for everyone–despite my hyperbolic claims!!
There are no ‘shoulds’ (should pay, should worship)– only ‘wants’. “Should” is a four-letter word in the life coaching lexicon. It’s one of the reasons so many people resort to therapy, coaching, shopping and chocolate! If you only do what you really and truly want, you will never need a life coach. It’s kinda that simple.
Thanks for your comments Jiminy. It gave me a chance to address some of the concerns I had about how people might feel about this. Like you, I’m just woking through my sh!t–and yes, we can use that word here.
Hope to see you again soon!
Lin
January 7th, 2011 at 4:33 pm
Just for the record … you used “he’s” and “guys” … and I have no idea why you said sry!
BTW – just don’t say shit in front of the c-h-i-l-d-r-e-n. Thx!
PS I may get banned!
January 7th, 2011 at 9:58 am
Thanks to you, I have decided to give myself a professional name more fitting for my personality. Inspired by my neighbors vanity license plate, I have decided on…
Are you ready? This is big.
BAMFL Coach
P.S. His license plate was actually BAMFSOB, although I’m not sure why he had to bring his mother into it. I’ve met her. She’s lovely.)
P.P.S. The “L” stands for “Life”. The rest, you’ve got to figure out on your own. I can’t explain these things to you. I’m a lady.
January 8th, 2011 at 9:25 am
I know EXACTLY what it stands for Jessica! Nice.
February 24th, 2011 at 2:54 pm
Oh dear .. I got it right away too!! I AM like you!
January 7th, 2011 at 10:33 am
I just find it refreshing to read the normal day to day drudgery of being a mum / partner / slave / worker in a completely different light
January 8th, 2011 at 9:25 am
thank you egills
January 7th, 2011 at 12:01 pm
Brilliant, as usual!
January 7th, 2011 at 12:07 pm
I like just call me “Lin” (lioness inspirational Ninja!) but wow – you have certainly thought this through. You are now one with life coaching! Have I told you lately that I love you…oooops, that’s a song a like..but have I told you lately how awesome you are! Peel back the layers of an onion and there you were…a wonderfully, gorgeous, brilliant, blinging peanut butter cup! Makes me cry every time!! Cheers and go with fucia…everything goes with fucia!
January 8th, 2011 at 9:27 am
Deb–thank you!
Mare… thanks BB&LLF!
January 7th, 2011 at 1:01 pm
Ok ~ I’m back with more of my 2 cents! I don’t like the “Life, Lip-gloss, and chocolate coach” – not strong enough! But, I love your camouflage image – so what comes to mind is…”Happiness Drill Sargeant” and I love the “Get Your Ass in Gear” theme! (Although various shades of green and brown probably don’t create a strong fashion sense and you will have to be very creative with the lip gloss that will match…I can’t provide advice on fashion or cosmetic tips to go with your brand!)
I think something very BOLD – which you already are with a sense of humor – which you have – would be appropriate! No need to ‘soften’ anything or go the cheesy route. You could be like that woman “Jillian” the drill sargeant on the “Biggest Loser” that really kicks people’s a** to get them in shape – but with more fun!
Okay – so now we’re up to 6 cents worth of input!
Love your class idea too!
julie
January 8th, 2011 at 9:29 am
Julie… you crack me up! Happiness Drill Sargent is PERFECT and def goes with the cammo.
Thnx for your six cents.
January 7th, 2011 at 1:30 pm
God Lin, if I knew what lip gloss was I would sent you some! Love ya darlin – you are a phenom.
January 8th, 2011 at 9:30 am
Jane, your life will forever change once you discover lip gloss.
January 7th, 2011 at 2:42 pm
This Christmas, in my search for Eggnog bonne bell lip smacker lip gloss, I accidentally discovered Vanilla Frosting flavored Lip Smacker Sparkler lip gloss (also by Bonne Bell). OMG, the smell of it reminds me of cupcakes. yum! (It goes with every shade of green too!) ;o)
January 8th, 2011 at 9:31 am
Sonia… I am sooooooooooooooooooo happy for you.
January 7th, 2011 at 4:41 pm
I see Life Coaches as having the role of a detective or designer or even a surgeon: Happiness Detective 0r Joy Designer or Mind Surgeon
(love your blog by the way)
January 8th, 2011 at 9:33 am
ohhhhh… Lisa Ann… those are all good! “Like a surgeon, coached for the very first time….”
Madonna could sing that so much better…
January 7th, 2011 at 4:42 pm
I guess that fact that I keep coming back makes me some sort of metrosexual or something!
BTW – to clarify – THE WORST MOTHER works cause … that’s you … but I was also saying a title doesn’t really mean “you’ve arrived”! Oh … but you have definitely arrived!
January 8th, 2011 at 9:35 am
Yes, you complete me.
Thanks for being the token male.
That can’t be easy!!
January 8th, 2011 at 9:41 am
Actually that should be, Token Male, an official title bequeathed onto thee. Hence the caps.
January 7th, 2011 at 4:59 pm
Lin – I’ve found that the more I have told people I am a life coach, the less of an embarrassment it is. It has gotten to the point that it has lost it’s zing. I say I’m a life coach and then launch into how I help people and the life coach title takes a back seat to the understanding of how I help people heal. So, my advice, keep saying it until it sounds normal to you.
January 8th, 2011 at 9:37 am
Hey Gail… thanks– sounds like you love the cheese! yay..
January 7th, 2011 at 11:50 pm
Hey hey,
Thanks for the ping, was very awesome of you! I am excited to hear how it goes. Must admit, i find myself with less and less time will spending more and more time on WordPress. You can find some pretty inspriring things on here…… yours however, is always stunning!
xx
January 8th, 2011 at 9:38 am
Virtual xx’s back atcha lil miss naked!
January 8th, 2011 at 1:58 am
I felt the need to add that Sandra the VA has been retitled pope. A cautionary tale on asking others to bequeath a title upon you.
January 8th, 2011 at 9:40 am
Et pour vous? Miss Bridgette….
I think….
Queen Mother…. for the way you watch over your flock.
January 8th, 2011 at 10:49 am
Very cool post & thank you kindly for the link, Lin
Also, way to go on your AFGO university – may it totally rock!
BTW, I think that blushing pic is one of your best yet
January 9th, 2011 at 7:32 am
I like simplicity….”COACH”!
Bobbi Brown’s Brown lipgloss with all shades of green?
xo Kim
January 9th, 2011 at 8:58 am
Life Obstacle Assasin-L.O.A. ( kinda double entendre-ish – ties in to that old hot and bothered love affair you seem to be having with the Universe- plus you could gob on lipgloss and go all James Bond hottie- But I sense perhaps a hazmat suit (sp?) – something chic and neutral fo sho)
January 11th, 2011 at 10:46 pm
AFGO University is wonferful in SO many ways. Not the least of which is it solves the title dilemma: Professoressa! (because foreign is always smarter and Italian is always sexier).
January 16th, 2011 at 12:00 pm
As a newly minted MBI cadet, I’m loving this exploration in de-cheesing. I’m lactose intolerant don’t you know.
But also really loving your oh so wonderful combination of wisdom and hilarity. And fashion sense too. Could lip gloss solve the world’s problems??
You’re my favourite share right now.
March 20th, 2011 at 6:50 pm
Hey Bag Lady….i’ve never known anyone with so much baggage in her head…and i’ve got baggage in my trunk…must lose that right away! But, unlike Lorraine…i love cheese…hence the trunk baggage!
But hey…nobody pays attention to my trunk because i always wear the shiniest of lip glosses and it creates a diversion…smart huh? Mama said, put on some lipstick, you will always feel bedda!
Love from Canada and beyond (heaven where Mama is!)