Words That Begin With the Letter ‘F’ for 400 Please Alex

When I turned f-f-f-f-f-orty I made the decision to embrace all words that begin with the letter F.

Including the mother of all words-that-start-with-F.

The big kahuna.

You know what I’m talkin’ about.  

At first I decided to incorporate it into our regular Saturday date night vernacular. You know, to shake things up a little.

The Big Guy never saw it comin’. 

For the longest time Thursty just kept staring at me.

Initially I thought it was because I looked so damn hot in that little pink number I was wearing.  Plus, I had matched my lip gloss perfectly.

Then I realized it was because I had dropped the F-bomb.

I didn’t know what had come over me.

The word just passed from my lips as if I had blown a kiss. 

It didn’t make sense. 

So I tried it again.

There it was again.

That stare.

He was so darn handsome.  

Correction: he was so f*&$#ing handsome!

And he only had eyes for me.

It was as if he couldn’t get enough of me.

After that little bit of positive reinforcement I couldn’t get enough of the F-bomb. 

How lucky am I?

The moral of the story is: everything in life is what we make it to be.  We get to decide. We don’t need anyone else to tell us. And we can change the rules to suit our own lives. 

That goes for everything.

Even that bloody f*ing F-word.  If you make it mean something bad, it will make you feel something bad.

And, conversely, if you use it while out on a date with your sexy man-bear, it just might take his breath away.

F*^#ing perfect.

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Pssssst: Hey you. Yeah, YOU, you gorgeous f*ing thing you!  Have you joined The WORST Club on Facebook? Whaddaya waiting for? Check it out… get in on the discussions, and stay tuned for the next meeting (first Tuesday of every month).  Boys are not allowed. Except for TWM’s token male. Wait, even he’s not allowed. ‘Cause boys stink!  Sorry, it’s true.

Why I Suck at it SOMETIMES!

Today didn’t start off quite right.

I woke up with that feeling of not knowing where I was, who I was, or more importantly, WHY THERE WAS A MAN SLEEPING IN MY BED!

Next I heard blood curdling screams from children who were calling out for their mother– who had obviously gone AWOL.

What kind of mother does that?

AND THEN it hit me.

Followed in quick succession with….

I had awoken to a nightmare! 

I just wanted to get back under the covers and hide.

Maybe I could just stay under the covers and hide all day. Maybe all those strange people in my house would go away.

HUH?  How does that make sense?  Let Dad sleep?

Oh yes I would!

So it was that right there under the covers I had a little pity party for myself. You know how it goes…. why me?… I wish I could… why don’t they all… wouldn’t it be nice if… why can’t everything be the way I want it, whenever I want it???

I really am the WORST MOTHER, ever!

And then… I did what I knew I had to do.

I got a grip.

This is my life.  I chose it. I MADE IT just the way it was.

Sometimes I have to remind myself how much I really love it. 

“Kids!  Come to mommy!”

Next on the agenda…

Create a great day today.

I can do that.  I have the power!

Hope you create your best day today!

The Universe Loves Me, It Really Loves Me!

I have been having an affair for some time now.

With the Universe.

Don’t worry, my husband, Thurston Howell the Fourth, knows all about it. In fact, he’s totally fine with it.  He understands and accepts that there’s no fighting a love like this!

Don’t get me wrong. I love my husband a lot. He’s the absolute best man for me on the whole planet. There’s just one thing.

He’s only human.

Still, my Thurston brought sexy back long before Justin Timberlake. And you can surely see why, right?  Is he not absolutely adorable? Incidentally, that scar on his cheek is from the time he saved me from a giant 420-pound coconut crab (a.k.a. Birgus latro), the largest anthropod in the world.  (Actually, Thurston doesn’t smoke, but I think the cigarette makes him look exactly like the Marlboro Man.  Smokin’ hot, don’t you think?) 

Did I just digress or what? It happens every time I talk about my little scarface. So, let’s get back to my love affair with the Universe, shall we? ‘Cause that thing is B-I-G!

Don’t laugh but I once wrote the Universe a love letter. I’ll share it with you. It’s kinda embarrassing but, who cares?

And guess what?  The Universe wrote me back! By email. I am not sh!ttin’ you. This is the email:

A Note from the Universe
InboxX
TUT/The UniverseX
 Reply |The Universe to theworstmother
show details Oct 5

 TWM, I can’t even remember the last time I was this excited for you over all that you’re on the verge of doing, being, and having.
Just sayin’ –
    The Universe

ps: actually, there was that one time, just before this very life began….!

I was in shock. This is a snapshot of me (taken by the Universe) at the very moment I read the note:

I was so excited. I was on the verge of something. Something big. And the Universe has known about this all along?

Even before I got here?

doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo

That’s some crazy sh!t, Batman.

And then I had this ultra cool thought:

The Universe Has My Back

Yup, the Universe has my back every second of every minute of every day. In fact, I came to realize that I didn’t have to know EVERYTHING (what a relief!).  And–I came to trust that the Universe always always knows what it is doing. After all, something that big must know what it’s doing, right?

So now, when I have a problem I can’t figure out, I just hand it over to the Universe to take care of. It’s like having a virtual assistant.

No matter how many problems I present it with, the Universe listens patiently, without judgment, while holding a great big space (pun intended) for me to dump the contents of my endless mind poop. 

Now that’s what I call having excellent listening skills.

And then, after I get everything off my chest, I just wait around.

But in a good way. I do stuff I enjoy. I don’t worry…. as much.

And without fail the Universe sends me The Answer.

Sometimes when I least expect it. 

Just like that, The Answer pops into my head. When I’m not thinking.

It’s not always the answer I would have predicted, or expected. Sometimes it’s downright bizarre. Other times I don’t like the answer. One time, the answer was simply “Yes“.  That’s it. So, I said, “yes”.  And it worked! (ps: I always know it’s the right answer because I feel it in my gut).

And that is why I am in mad love with the Universe.  It always knows what’s best for me.

Even when Especially when I don’t. 

Hey, if you want to get notes from the Universe, go here.

Have fun.

And remember, the Universe is all mine.

But we can share.

**Note back to Universe: Thanks for sending Thurston to me. He is the love of my life.

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